Am I the Miss Cleo of Oscar predictions? Me thinks so. Yes I did go 6 for 6 in my major categories. Had I actually not been lazy and posted all my predictions, I would have done very very well. I would have called Milk and Slumdog for Screenplay, Wall E for Animation, and Man on Wire for Documentary. I would have however, never picked Departures for Best Foreign Language film. That was the surprise of the evening. The one and only surprise!So were the 81st Academy Awards a hit or a miss? I would say they were a bit of both, but more hit if you ask me.
Let’s recap the best and worst moments.
It was a great night for homosexuality:
1. Hugh Jackman hosting!
2. Dustin Lance Black uttering the following upon winning Best Original Screenplay: "But most of all, if Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he would want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less than by their churches or by the government or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value, and that no matter what anyone tells you God does love you and that very soon I promise you, you will have equal rights federally across this great nation of ours.” It was a great big fuck you to the Mormon Church and to all opposed to prop 8 and I ate it up like a King Sized Burger King Combo.
3. Sean Penn also gave a shout out to the gays. "I think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect, and anticipate their great shame, and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way of support. We've got to have equal rights for everyone.” As a gay man, anytime people can be called out for being disgustingly homophobic and prejudiced in a Globally televised event, ME LIKEY!
The opening number was fabulous. I totally dug the elementary school Christmas concert recession-inspired cardboard sets. And Anne Hathaway was beyond tolerable and actually quite impressive vocally. I am a sucker for the previous year’s winner handing out the Oscars to this year’s winners, especially last year when Jennifer Hudson admirably bastardized HAVIERE BARDIM’s name!
But I did love this year's new trend of the previous categories winners welcoming a sister or brother to their elite club.
I could have dealt with one less Goldie “Banger Sister” Hawn in The Supporting Actress crowd though. 
It seemed a bit Oprah Gratitude journal with each previous winner gushing over a current nominee. But each nominee seemed to be overwhelmed with genuine emotion and that was a fabulous thing to see.
Whoopi Goldberg saying the sentence “It’s not easy being a nun” was particularly Delores Van Cartier!
Penelope Cruz’s speech was lovely and beautifully delivered, but she would still win my award for voice I’d least like to hear read the bible as a book on tape.*
Can Tina Fey ever do wrong? Honestly we could find out that Tina murdered JonBenet Ramsey and no one would care! We'd probably find it hilarious and adorable!
I can’t remember in what context, but Meryl Streep flexed her muscles. I was waiting for a Mamma Mia cannon ball, but not even that would have saved that awful MUSICAL IS BACK medley.
Speaking of the musical is back medley, nothing could have put a Buffy-like stake through the heart of the movie musical like that fucking awful number. That number officially halted at least ten potential movie musicals from ever happening. No to Beyoncebot! No to Zacquisha! And no to the Mamma Mia couple who looked like about as comfortable as Jennifer “Please love me” Aniston feet away from Brangelina. Who thought that was a good idea? Apparently Baz Luhrmann!
Best Supporting Actor winner Heath Ledger’s families' acceptance and dedication to his Matilda was beautiful. 
But Cuba Gooding Jr. inclusion of one of the five previous Best Supporting Actor winners was anything but. Seriously Academy, you are going to ask the star of Snowdogs, Boat Cruise, and Radio to present an Oscar to Heath Ledger. WTF? If there were ever a reason to invent a time machine, it would be to go back and rip that Oscar out of CGJr’s hack hands!
Ben Stiller as Joaquin Pheonix did not work, however Natalie Portman as my heterosexual crush does!
Man on Wire guy’s magic trick and balancing illusion had nothing on Gob Bluth, but they were still pretty great!
I loved that Japanese man who actually said “Domō Arigatō Mr. Roboto” because I am all in favor of highlighting national stereotypes. Next time please except in a kimono Karaoke-styles Mr. Kato, that is if you’re feet binding will allow you to walk to the podium. 
HE looked AMAZING!
Kate Winslet won Best Actress and rightfully so. I wouldn’t have been opposed to a Meryl come from behind victory.
I also loved her calling out to her dad to whistle to let her know where he was. So human and great. Can’t imagine you’d see that between Jolie and Voight. Just sayin’
Even though Mickey Rourke sadly lost, he lost to a worthy opponent. And it was nice to see Sean Penn actually have a sense of humor about himself for once. Spicoli lives!
Slumdog won 8 Awards and I am more than okay with that. As a gay, I would have preferred Milk but I always root for the underdog. 
So that’s the end of this year’s Oscar race! Bring on 09! In fact bring on Nine!
Hopefully tag team Day Lewis-Cotillard-Dench-Kidman-Loren-Cruz-&Fergie do not disappoint and prove that the musical is still, in fact, a living and kicking beast! *joke care of Heidi Brander.
