The big show!

It wasn't the best telecast ever. It had a lack of A listers filling the seats. The musical numbers were as bland as a high school variety show. And Jennifer Hudson wardrobe ode to her Disney Cruise Lines Hercules' Muse character and her supreme pronounciation of Havierre Bardim certainly won't make the Oscars' highlight reel. But all things considered I do love the Oscars and beggars really can't be choosers especially when they nearly didn't happen.

What the Oscars got right this year were the very very very deserving acting winners including my gal Marion Cotillard, who delivered the performance of the decade thus far in my opinion. She shocked pundits and viewers alike by trumping highly favored Julie Christie. Android Tilda Swinton also pulled off a major surprise in the Supporting Actress category seriously affecting office Oscar polls around the world. Ruby "1924" Dee, Cate Blanchett, and Amy Ryan all could have won, but the Academy needed to show their support for Michael Clayton and Swinton was the ultimate winner in this situation. Frontrunners since October Javier Bardem (or Havierre Bardim according to Jhud) and Daniel Day Lewis expectedly and deservedly won their awards. It was a great year to be a foreign actor who played evil, psychopathic or Edith Piaf.

I can only imagine middle America's confusion with the four foreign winners. I mean who the hell is Cotillard, what the hell is Swinton, and where the hell was Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?

Critic favorite No Country for Old Men proved unstoppable in Picture, Director and Screenplay. The clock did strick gold for Hollywood Cinderella story of the year Diablo Cody. The former stripper was boss with her win in Best Original Screenplay. And the glorious Falling Slowly from Once picked up Best Song.

Top Five Highlights

5. Marketa Irglova's speech. Her microphone was turned off right before she was to speak after winning the Best Song Oscar (obviously we had to go to commerical break so we could witness Jennifer Garner mug her way through her 800th neutrogena commercial of the telecast). Classy Jon Stewart invited her back to the stage to have her Oscar moment. She was eloquent and inspiring and we were all thankful she got to speak.

4. The nominee clips

In 2002 all twenty nominees were robbed of their nominated performances being showcased because producers decided against showing clips of their performances. Last year, producers showed the most ludricrous second long displays of the nominated performances. This year, they got it right by showing extended scenes that gave us a real glimpse of why these actors (most who are unknown to the average movie viewer) deserved to be there. Even if they didn't choose Cotillard's Marcel scene from La Vie En Rose.

3. Gary Busey on the red carpet.Sean Young has nothing on Gary Busey who was loving Ryan Seacrest and half raping Jennifer Garner on the Red Carpet. Have another drink.

2. Great montages (In Memoriam included)

In fear that the entire ceremony would have to be scrapped the academy put together some great montages of previous winners in the major categories. As well as some hilarious film montages like famous film nightmares. In Memorian was touching as always, even with the Brad Renfro omission.

1. Cotillard WINS!The most deserved win in recent years. She was gracious, looked stunning and became the first foreign language Best Actress to win since Sophia Loren.


Top Five Lowlights

5. Lack of preparation

The show was dull at times and that is because it was put together in a mere 9 days. But it did show in the lack of solid presenter banter and overall Oscar grandure.

4. Too many crowd shots of Jennifer Garner/Kathryn Heigl's Make Up. They needed to ease off on Jennifer Garner appreciation shots and Heigl needed to ease of the make up you would find on a French whore porcelin doll.

3. Amy Ryan Losing.

Now I was actually very pleased to see Tilda Swinton win in Supporting Actress, but Amy Ryan was astonishing in Gone Baby Gone. She became that character and I feel had she been a bit more well known, she would have picked up the award.

2. Ratings

The ratings for this year's Oscars sucked. They were the worst in 20 years. I think it can be argued that there are very few films that middle or rural America have seen (besides Juno) and therefore there was very little (films and performances) to be invested in.

1. Enchanted Musical Numbers.These numbers were not subpar. They were not adequate. They were really bad. Amy Adams is a goddess. But could they have done a little more with her number then just place her centre stage in a cocktail dress with a Casino Rama headset microphone. Kristin Chenoweth was bland as fuck during the huge production number of That's How You Know. And that dude that sang the song So Close was borderline outsider music fare.

Now that Oscar race 2007 has been put to bed it's time to look forward to 2008. First official prediction are on their way.

Idol and Model.

I like to consider myself a bit of a movie snob, with the most sophistocated of tastes. However, I am also a pop culture and reality TV whore. I can't get enough of it. Honestly I used to be addicted to Fox's ugly duckling into beauty reality competition The Swan and of course Anna Nicole's reality show back in the days when she was rocking the deuce on the scale and you know, alive!

We are in a harsh winter here in Canada and little brings me joy like my reality guilty pleasures American Idol and America's Next Top Model.

While I lost interest in Model last cycle and I contend that American Idol hasn't found a truly unique artist since Fantasia, I will always find time in my TV viewing schedule to see Tyra be an overdramatic camera slut and to see Paula Abdul stumble her way through every sentence she speaks and give sex eyes to every member of the male species aged puberty to pre-nursing home.

This year I have a few faves on Idol, although I am still very scared about the lack of a legitimate artist. Although it is early still.

The following five contestants are my favorites. I am thrilled to see not a Sanjaya or John Stephens like contestant in sight.

Amanda OvermyerShe is a rocker-nurse who is the real deal. She has a total Joplin rocker vibes that feels very authentic to me. I don't think she is a great vocalist, but she is the closest thing AI has to an artist this season. I also totally dig her laid back, no ego, borderline ambilivilent attitude.

David ArchuletaIs it wrong that I have a crush on a 17 year old? The Mary Kay LeTourneau in me thinks not. Then I see a picture like this that was taken back from a mere 5 years ago when he won Star Search. My immediate Lolita fantasy is flacid and it makes me vomit in my mouth a little bit. I think he has the best male voice in the competition and his definitive adorableness will put both tween girls heartbeats and their text voting fingers into overdrive. Remember when this was considered cute and talented.Well David is legitimate cute and talented.

Jason Castro. I love this guy's vibe. He is a dreaded guitar stoner who much like nurse rocker, seems pretty legitimate. Unlike felow finalist Robbie Castro, who not long ago looked like an 7 Club Seven tribute band member (well he kinda was since he opened once for Britney in Europe in a band called Boyz N Girlz). He now tries to moonlight as a "rocker". He is as much a rocker as Clay Aiken is a twink. Anyways, Jason Castro is pretty rad.

I always love a black woman in the competition. Fantasia was queen. JHud was princess. Vonzell was Duchess. This year I am digging two in the top 24. I l am loving me some Syesha Marcado and Asia'h Epperson. Syesha has a knockout voice and is a great performer. Asia'h has a great story (her dad died two days before her initial audition) and a lovely raspy tone to her voice.

I would think that all these performers have a solid shot at top 12. I am not digging all this hype and buzz about Michael Johns and Carly "HAD A RECORD DEAL AND ONLY SOLD 400 ALBUMS" Smithson. But my mind can always be changed with a knockout performance.

America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 premiered last night. It was part half hour of constant screaming session from model wannabes/Tyra enthusiasts, a 15 minute ode to mini Oprah herself, and an extended 15 minute I HAVE NO CLIT monologue from Sudanese, Iman Jr contestant Fatima. Needless to say it was Mr. and Mrs. J perfection.

It's very early to tell, but I am liking

Claire - the mother/wife who is strikingly beautiful.

Katarzyna - Who is Ivy League educated and high fashion-liscious.

and Lauren - The Punk who doesn't stand a chance in hell. I already love to watch her attempt to walk in heels and I always love me a quirky, "what the hell am I doing here?" type reality contestant.

Dee, 'Droid, Dylan and Deadbeat.

The Best Supporting Actress category has suddenly gotten very very very exciting with a possibility of four scenarios playing out.

In looking at the five past winners of this category we can draw a few things:

06 Jennifer Hudson
05 Rachel Weisz
04 Cate Blanchett
03 Renee Zelleweger
02 Catherine Zeta Jones

Hduson was the breakthrough star and arguably the best thing about her film. Weisz and Zeta Jones (and Hudson as well) were lead performances who were campaigned for Supporting. Blanchett was given an Oscar for a great performance and for being snubbed for her career defining performance in Elizabeth. While Zellweger was given the award for a knock out performance but also for being one of Hollywood's under 40 A listers without the trailer title card Academy Award Winner.

So where do our five ladies line up with these five or previous winners of this category.
Early favorite Amy Ryan wins the breakout performance award in the vein of Jennifer Hudson, Mira Sorvino, Juliette Binoche. She won nearly every critics award and gave the best performance in my opinion. But her characters is pretty despicable and doesn't elicit tremendous sympathy from viewers. The character of Helene might really turn voters off.
Voters could go for perenial favorite Blanchett. She was pretty darn impressive as Bob Dylan's alter ego and we have witnessed voters awarded another gender bending turn in this category (Linda Hunt in 1983). There was talk of a last minute category switch to lead actress for Blanchett (a maneuver that helped Zeta Jones and Weisz) but then she would have split the vote with her own subsequently nominated performance in Elizabeth. However I don't think Blanchett will win her second award in three years (despite being double nommed). Why? Well because voters know that Blanchett will eventually win again. She'll be back many times as a nominee to come and it is my belief that they will next want to reward her in the lead category. There is much more prestige in a leading actress award win then two Supporting wins.
Ruby "1924" Dee has age in her corner of this celebrity death match. Much like previous winners Judi Dench, Peggy Ashcroft, and Maureen Stapleton, Ruby Dee is a beloved Hollywood icon. She has decades of Hollywood cred and is very beloved in the industry. Her recent SAG win is clear evidence of this. However, she is in the film for less than five minutes (it worked for Dench), but remember only four African American women have won Oscars and I don't think it is likely in back to back years.
Then there's android of my eye, Tilda Swinton. Swinton was absolutely fierce as villanous Karen Crowder in Michael Clayton. A month or so Swinton was thought to be a distant also ran in the race, however with her recent BAFTA combined with the overall Oscar love for Michael Clayton may have bumped her up to odds on favorite. The Oscars love villains (think Hannibal Lector or Claus Von Bulow) but they aren't crazy for female villain victors. However, Swinton has the esteemed actress without Academy Award Winner attached to her name going for her like recent victors Blanchett and Zellweger.
Now to the offical also ran, that is, the lovely 13 year old Saoirse Ronan. She could pull off one of the greatest shocks of Oscar history, but unlike previous teen winners Anna Paquin or Patti Duke, the competition this year is too tough. Do look for this lady to be a major contender in a few years for The Lovely Bones. Mark my words.

Who wins? The breakout performance, the double nommed thoroughbred, the veteran or the villainous character actress?

In my official predictions I leaned toward the vet, but now I am thinking Michael Clayton has got to get some love and Tilda Swinton is the best chance at demonstrating their affection.

The Predictions

We are a week and two days away but Oscar pundits have started to hedge their bets on who will take the little gold men on February 24th. While I am not in Dave Karger or Tom O'Neil territory, I have religiously followed this year's race since launching this blog in October.

These are 95% my final predictions. I do reserve the right to have an 11th hour change if I am second guessing myself. But as of right now, and if I was a betting man, these picks are what I would go for.

Best Picture- No Country for Old Men

The Coens brothers ode to testerone will defeat the little indie movie that did (AKA Juno) and another testoterone movie about oil. It was the most critically acclaimed movie of the year and having been rewarded by PGA, SAG, WGA certainly puts in heavily in the lead.


Best Director - Coen Brothers

They are so well respected in Hollywood and Globe winner Schnabel won't win because his film is absent from the picture list.


Best Actor - Daniel Day Lewis

There are certainties in life; the world is round, the sky is blue and Daniel Day Lewis is winning his second Oscar next weekend.


Best Actress - Julie Christie

In October I thought this race was over. I didn't think it was possible for another performance to out shine Marion Cotillard's brilliant and awe-inspiring turn as Edith Piaf. However, then mostly every precusor critic award went to Julie Christie. Christie & Cotillard won The Globes, then Christie won SAG and I pretty much gave up hope for the Best performance I've seen in a decade be rewarded. Then Cotillard beat Christie at the BAFTAs, (re: Christie's homeland's version of Oscar). Suddenly many people think Cotillard could pull an Adrien Brody and sneak in and steal the award from critical buzz favorite Christie and popular vote favorite Ellen Page. I am still sticking with Christie. She's a vet and I'm sure she hit a cord in many of the older Academy members. Ellen Page could shock, but it's not likely. Juno's Oscar will be given to the stripper not the Halifax one woman show. I still pray for Cotillard. Aren't the Oscar about rewarding the best? (I write that statement that with the utmost irony)


Best Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem

Hal Holbrook has a shot. But to be quite honest his chances of winning this category are about as good as mine. Javier takes this award easily.


Best Supporting Actress - Ruby Dee

This category is exceedingly fascinating. Blanchett was the early leader, then Amy Ryan won all the critic awards, then Blanchett regained the lead by winning the Globe, then Ruby Dee shocked all and won the SAG and then Tilda Swinton picked up the BAFTA. The only contender in this race who really doesn't stand a chance is 13 year old Saoirse Ronan. But trust me, her chance will arrive in two years when she stars as Susie Salmon in Peter Jackson's take on The Lovely Bones. I don't think Swinton is much of a threat here either. People believe she is for the reason that Michael Clayton can't go home empty handed. I don't think Blanchett will take it either. I think voters know she'll be back many more times and I think they would rather honor with a second Oscar for Best Actress and not Supporting. That leaves the knock out and the woman born in 1924. At this moment, I am calling the fact that age will defeat talent in this race. I am not counting Amy Ryan out yet, but the Academy does love a veteran.


Best Original Screenplay - Diablo Cody

Hiper than hip jargon, snappy dialogue, and an outspoken edgy pregant teen who utters trailer quotable sentenses five times a sceenplay page will win. I love the Cinderella story, but I am not in love with the script.


Best Adapted Screenplay - Coen Brothers

Beautifully paced and artfully constructed, The Coen brothers will be the big stars of Oscar Sunday. If only Polley would win, then I would find myself thanked at the Oscars. Not gonna happen, but I can dream can't I.


These are my opinions nine days out. They may or may not change. Stay tuned.

Herbie HUHcock?

We are in the depths of winter and I hate it. I've seen all the movies from 2007 that have been nominated for Oscars and we have slim to no film viewing pickings in 2008 so far. I simply refuse to see 27 Dresses because it's two hours and $12 I will never get back.

The Oscar race always loses drama in the six weeks between nominations and the actual awards. Because there is little that fluxtates. SAG, PGA, DGA and WGA all awarded No Country for Old Men top accolades and Oscar is going to follow suit. BAFTA went for Atonement, but the film is as dead as Keira Knightley's character in the tube station. BAFTA threw a curve ball into the Best Actress race when they went for Marion Cotillard over BRITISH vet Julie Christie. YAY. I still have hope for a Cotillard victory.SAG threw everything in Best Supporting Actress out of whack when they picked Ruby "1924" Dee. I still have a hunch that Amy Ryan will win. But I am truly not sure. However I am SURE of Day-Lewis and Bardem wins.

Another great thing is that the Oscars will actually happen because the writer's strike is almost over. (A blog on that miraculous development later). I am pysched for a Falling Slowly performance. I cannot wait to see Amy "ROBBED" Adams perform Happy Working Song with all her creature friends and Broadway diva Kristin Chenoweth tear through That's How You Know.

Speaking of the marvelous Amy Adams, she and many of Hollywood brightest leading ladies appeared on the gorgeous Annie Leibovitz photographed cover of Vanity Fair. The cover page featured Adams, Emily Blunt (whom I love), Anne Hathaway (whom, despite being in the minority on this, I also love) and also JESSICA BIEL.That's right Justin Timberlake's girlfriend was featured, while Hollywood IT girl Ellen Page was relegated to the inside flap second page. I can't even name a Jessica Biel movie and I write a blog about movies. She really must have the world's best publicist or she must have fucked Annie Leibovitz. I am not sure how she got there, but she did. And just like her, we are all a little more mediocre for it. I really can't stand Biel. In fact I can't stand any of Young Hollywood's Jessica. That means Biel, Alba, and of course discount mart Simpson. If only Page and Biel could have played swapsies. But Blunt and Adams make all good and truly Leibovitz could take a camera phone picture of her own bowel movement and it would be considered high art.

Speaking of all good. Lost premiered two weeks ago and the best show on TV continues to make life worth living in these doldrums of winter. So what do we know at the beginning of season 4? Locke is going nuts, six people get back to the real world, people aren't who they say they are, and there may have been two Oceanic flight 815s? So basically we know very little more than we did in the first, second, and third seasons. But it is fucking entertaining as hell and Matthew Fox is delivering one of the best and underrated performances on TV.

The Grammys were presented on Sunday night and Amy Winehouse was the big winner picking up awards for Best New Artist, and Song and Record of the Year. Feist went 0 for 1,2,3,4 Awards she was up for. Kanye West was the other big winner of the night performing a beautiful tribute to his mom Donda. If Donda has taught us one thing in the world it's that you shouldn't get mother fucking plastic surgery. She has also taught us how not to raise a child. I'm sorry but Kanye is a great artist, but he is the most vain and ego-crazy artist in the world. He gets pissed when he doesn't win everything and he thinks that the general human guidelines of humility and gratitude just don't apply to him. He's really nauseating. He needs to get ther fuck over himself because a lot of people are losing interest and are seriously turned off. Oh yeah and Herbie Hancock beat Amy Winehouse for album of the year. Herbie Hancock WTF??? Back to Black was the album of the year and should have been recognized as such but Amy did win 5 beautys, she looked healthier than ever and a crack pipe was no wear to be seen.