March Musings

I haven't seen a movie in god knows how long because all the movies out right now suck!

It's typical of Hollywood studios to release all their shittiest movies before the summer blockbusters are due and the fall Oscar rush begins.

But upon opening the newspaper. I find these movies as my March options.

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP: My friends and I have started using the sentence "That's So Raven" to describe anything that sucks, therefore it's safe to say that College Road Trip is so Raven.

Jumper: A Hayden Christensen vehicle about time traveling... ummm No. Lost doesn't cost $14.00 and I can imagine it's "slightly" better.

Step Up 2: I didn't Save the Last Dance and I didn't Get Served. I especially didn't know that Step Up 1 even existed. So chances were that I wasn't going to Step Up a second time.

Over Her Dead Body: Eva LongWHOREia Parker in a comedy about a ghost coming back to torture her fiancee's new girlfriend. I'd rather watch Two Girls/One Cup a hundred times over. I'm really not kidding.

Semi Pro: Now I love me some Will Ferrell but hasn't he made this movie like for the past three years. I am sensing a 2009 Ferrell vehicle featuring him as a synchronized swimmer featuring McLovin' from Superbad. I'll catch that flick instead.

Since movies have sucked and the weather has been an enjoyable as a case of syphilis, I have really become quite addicted to American Idol, America's Next Top Model, and of course the show of all network tv shows, LOST!

American Idol has been okay this season. They made the mistake in the Top 32 to have a theme each week. This really bogged down the possible vocal theatrics we may have seen if each contestant weren't limited to 60's,70's and 80's. I actually think they have the Best top ten they've ever had. There isn't a Haley Scarnato or Scott Savol in Top 10 sight. Scratch that, Kristy Lee Cock is so raven. I still don't think they have a Fantasia or Kelly on their hands this season, despite the show's best efforts. It's safe to say David Archuleta will win hands down. I think David Cook could spoil.

America's Next Top Model is as exciting as ever and Tyra is mugging to camera even more than ever before. Narcissus and Tyra Banks are the same person. I love Claire and I hope she will win. But the most obvious choice barely ever wins (see Nnenna from Cycle 6)

LOST has been pretty mesmerizing in its limited/WGA strike 8 episode arch. Whenever you think a story is close to being tied up or you think you know what end is up, those damned Lost creators open up another worm hole of mysteries. So who are the Oceanic 6 Survivors? Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, and Sun seem like good bets. Perhaps Aaron is one of the 6 or perhaps Ben is considered one of the six. What about Michael who has now mysteriously resurfaced? The first three seasons were all flash backs and now we are in flash forward territory. I love it more than Meryl Strep in She Devil, Devil Wears Prada, and supreme upper of uppers Sophie's Choice, combined. So that's like, a lot!

Oscar Stock

It's been over a month since I blogged and frankly that is not acceptable.

But I was just taking a deep breath after the Oscar rush of aught 7. It was quite something. Who knew that a pregnant girl, an oil tycoon, and a psycopath with a page boy haircut could create such fuss and fodder.

It's been over a month since my Superbowl and let's take a look to see whose stock is up and whose is down.

UP:

AMY ADAMS - While she wasn't actually nominated for an Oscar and her performance of Happy Working Song was bland at best, Adams seems to do no wrong. She hilariously slammed Lisa "Anus Lips" Rinna on Letterman, was charming and likeable in her hosting gig on SNL, and she continues to make fabulous career choice after career choice (she's doing back to back Meryl Streep films.) Adams is to quote her delicious performance as Heidi Klum in March's SNL watercooler sketch Fierce: The Hot Mess Makeover Show... She's in!

The Coen Brothers - While they weren't over gracious winning a mere three times on Oscar night, it truly is a great time to be either Joel and Ethan. Their stock is way up. I did a major Coen Brothers film screening post Oscar picking up and immensely enjoyed both Raising Arizona and Blood Simple. Plus they have already shot and completed their Oscar follow up starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Tilda Swinton. Not bad, you know.

Diablo Cody - She was once danced naked to pay her bills and now she has a statuesque naked man named Oscar who will essentially pay her bills for life. Don't get me wrong, there was considerable Juno backlash the entire time the film became the buzz and IT movie of Hollywood's award season, but Cody has done pretty well. She was comissioned by Spielberg to write a pilot, she became a columnist at Entertainment Weekly, and has sold two additional scripts. Plus she was hilariously lampooned by SNL and Funnyordie, which only helps her public persona. Like the Coen Brothers, it is a great time to be Diablo (Spanish for Devil) Cody.

DOWN:

Ellen Page - I hate to say it but Page was truly terrible hosting SNL on March 1st. To her credit, the material written for her was not great. However, she showed very little range on her episode and was up staged virtually by every other person appearing against her. I think her stint as host made many wonder if we were dealing with a one trick pony here. While I think Page is a great actress and surely not a one trick pony, it did make me realize that comedy is not her forte and that the world is more enthralled by Juno MacGruff then her 21 year old Haligonian counter part.

Marion Cotillard - So it goes that once upon a time sweet up and coming Parisian Actress made some comments about a conspiracy theory involving September 11th. Fast forward a few years and that Actress wins an Oscar and these comments re surface and suddenly all those Americans who fell in love with the beauty in the Mermaid dress from Oscar night are singing a different Piaf tune. Whether comments were taken context is neither here nor there, but one thing she should regret bien is having ever mentioned the words conspiracy theory and September 11th in the same sentence especially during an 8 year Bush dynasty. I still love her though.