I had a TONy of fun!

Just like a fat kid loves he/she cake and Amy Winehouse loves a crack pipe, I love me some Tonys. This year marks my 20th consecutive year watching what Broadway has to offer.

Highlights of 08's ceremony included:

August: Osage County picking up mayjuh awards like Best Play, Best Actress in a Play and Best Supporting Actress in a Play. Completely deserved and a brilliant night of theatre. Although Aunt Jackie lost for Best Supporting Actress in a Play, I am glad she lost to Rondi Reed, her Chicago theatre sister. Speaking of Aunt Jackie, do you remember that episode of Roseanne when Jackie performed as a one legged wench in a Landford Community Theatre production of Cyrano? Now that shit was Tony worthy.

Also nice was the Rent tribute featuing the original Broadway cast. While I am not the biggest fan of Idina Menzel's face, I do always get nostalgic when Seasons of Love is sung and especially nostalgic when AIDS, AIDS, AIDS from Team America is heard.

In The Heights' performance was incredible. It's not a perfect show, but it has its moments of sheer brilliance. And how great was Lin-Manuel Miranda's hip hop ode to Sondheim!

Much like Celine, Patti Lupone is fucking amazing. She is the human equivalent to a trumpet. While she was singing Everything's Coming Up Roses, I could literaly hear homos having one large cumulative orgasm. My milkshake of course was better than theirs.

Xanadu looked amazing. I am so pissed at myself for having not seen it yet. Any musical that involves a levitating Pegasus horse as a way to make an exit, sure has my name all over it. That's how I plan to leave this world when I die!


Lowlights included:
I love some Whoopi on the View and I love me some Oda Mae Brown in Ghost, but Whoopi needs to do more than just play Mr. Dressup with some costumes as a host of an awards show. We get it, you like to channel Ernie Combs, but Bruce "I'm With Stupid" Villanch is a great writer so it's about time you used some of his jokes.

Passing Strange looked brutal. Strike that... it looked strange, therefor I'll pass.

Sunday in the Park with......... sorry I fell asleep while writing that sentence much as I did during the performance of that show last night. Where were the visuals and the projections? Two people standing on stage singing a duet, America doesn't care unless its Archuleta and Cook.

The producers tried to play off Patti Lupone during her speech. Whoever that man with the baton is, he was found dead in the Hudson today stabbed with a drag queen's lucite heel. You don't mess with gays and their Broadway divas, they will cut you with a Sweeney Todd razor. Was that last sentence too gay? I just gay bashed myself a bit!

Whoever brought The Little Mermaid to Broadway should be turned into a Mermaid and then throwd into an Exxon Valdez oil spill. That shit stank worse than shit and shit can stink.

Overall I loved the Tonys. A great year for Broadway, gays, people from the Steppenwolf theatre company, and Liza's gams. Next year Billy Elliot, Shrek, 9 to 5, West Side Story, and Harry Potter's cock come to the great white way. Blog ends here because I just spontaneously combusted!