March Musings

I haven't seen a movie in god knows how long because all the movies out right now suck!

It's typical of Hollywood studios to release all their shittiest movies before the summer blockbusters are due and the fall Oscar rush begins.

But upon opening the newspaper. I find these movies as my March options.

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP: My friends and I have started using the sentence "That's So Raven" to describe anything that sucks, therefore it's safe to say that College Road Trip is so Raven.

Jumper: A Hayden Christensen vehicle about time traveling... ummm No. Lost doesn't cost $14.00 and I can imagine it's "slightly" better.

Step Up 2: I didn't Save the Last Dance and I didn't Get Served. I especially didn't know that Step Up 1 even existed. So chances were that I wasn't going to Step Up a second time.

Over Her Dead Body: Eva LongWHOREia Parker in a comedy about a ghost coming back to torture her fiancee's new girlfriend. I'd rather watch Two Girls/One Cup a hundred times over. I'm really not kidding.

Semi Pro: Now I love me some Will Ferrell but hasn't he made this movie like for the past three years. I am sensing a 2009 Ferrell vehicle featuring him as a synchronized swimmer featuring McLovin' from Superbad. I'll catch that flick instead.

Since movies have sucked and the weather has been an enjoyable as a case of syphilis, I have really become quite addicted to American Idol, America's Next Top Model, and of course the show of all network tv shows, LOST!

American Idol has been okay this season. They made the mistake in the Top 32 to have a theme each week. This really bogged down the possible vocal theatrics we may have seen if each contestant weren't limited to 60's,70's and 80's. I actually think they have the Best top ten they've ever had. There isn't a Haley Scarnato or Scott Savol in Top 10 sight. Scratch that, Kristy Lee Cock is so raven. I still don't think they have a Fantasia or Kelly on their hands this season, despite the show's best efforts. It's safe to say David Archuleta will win hands down. I think David Cook could spoil.

America's Next Top Model is as exciting as ever and Tyra is mugging to camera even more than ever before. Narcissus and Tyra Banks are the same person. I love Claire and I hope she will win. But the most obvious choice barely ever wins (see Nnenna from Cycle 6)

LOST has been pretty mesmerizing in its limited/WGA strike 8 episode arch. Whenever you think a story is close to being tied up or you think you know what end is up, those damned Lost creators open up another worm hole of mysteries. So who are the Oceanic 6 Survivors? Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, and Sun seem like good bets. Perhaps Aaron is one of the 6 or perhaps Ben is considered one of the six. What about Michael who has now mysteriously resurfaced? The first three seasons were all flash backs and now we are in flash forward territory. I love it more than Meryl Strep in She Devil, Devil Wears Prada, and supreme upper of uppers Sophie's Choice, combined. So that's like, a lot!